"antics"
the old flames still burning, they just ain't burn the same
the old wounds still hurting, they just ain't hurt the same
the old tales you're telling, you've gotta keep them sane
the old antics you're selling, time is part of your game
the old pictures on the floor, you can't give them new frames
the old masquerades are in store, you can't give them new paints
the old movies are on screen, you can't give them new names
the old ghosts on the wheel, you can't call'em saints
you've gotta hold on to your useless antic amusement
you've yet learned the principle of selective detachment
you've gotta use the needless tactics of self-containment
just to walk down on your own front-yard pavement
you know it's sad when you're in fear of your own ego
you know it's bad when all you hear is your own echo
you know it's hard when life is just an endless show
it all falls apart when you just can't let it all go
"Destiny"
I'm drifting again in a sea of confusion
Like a lifeless boat with no sense of direction
Would I see
Through the mist of constant illusion
Is the moon hiding behind its own occlusion ?
As the sun sends rays of darkness to fill the ocean
Would I hear
The silent sound of decay and destruction
Through the thick screens of years of isolation
When the senses are numb, but time is losing patience
In the black hole sun universe
Light is darkness
Order is madness
Distraction is obsession
Decision is about indecision
And so the clock ticks its last and eternal second
To bring closer to this unsolvable equation
A solution
My destiny
"Dried tears"
as lights dim, shadows melt
the unwanted prisoner in his own cell
cries
in dried tears
where are all the tears that he's saved for years?
gone wasted on some intangible fears
so now he cries
in dried tears
lost in thoughts, reused and rolled over
lost in love, he, the immaculate composer
and he cries
in dried tears
just a neuron misfires in his brain
warm blood still flows beneath his vein
but he cries
in dried tears
"frozen eyes"
cold-steel lights penetrating frozen eyes
sketching thin trace of rainbows on ice
magic colours in their crystal dance
flashing back memories of an innocent glance
tears fall like rain washing off all the pain
into a sea of strangely well-carved feelings
in perfect black and white the movie showing
night creatures waken up by the silent moonlight
moving out in herds, hungry, savage, and blind
by their own shadows of doubts, into the night
moon's still young as they move in for the kill
with their born instincs, their god-given skills
momentarily comforted from behind the screen
blindly stare a pair of half-glassed spheres
negatives running backwards in time
the hunters or the hunted? it's all unclear
an intended plot in the director's cut?
a double knot untied only with your eyes shut?
with a black eye-band, would it still be fair
for the frozen eyes who just can't stop the stare
"how am i?"
like a mindless stranger
i wander
through the maze of my inner feelings
only to be lost in there
forever
"In the end..."
somewhere
in the middle of nowhere
from the far side of life
stands an old bounded and broken man
as he looks at the mirror
the mirror
stares back at him
through his own
reflection
of souless flesh and bones
as he looks at the sidewalls
bricks and paints
squirl beneath the unshameful naked light
desperately
trying to find a place to hide
He flicks the switch
and in the surrounding comforting darkness
the edges
twist and turn
in their remake of all the dreams that somehow
shatter and burn
Bare-footing
shivering
in the cold winter night
he looks out of the window
and in the estranged neighbourhood appears
a distant glimmering light
but the song
playing on the radio wavelength
he does not
and could not
hear
"in the end
only kindness matters
in the end
only kindness matters"
"full moon"
why is the moon so bright tonight
that makes me miss you so much, too much
why is distance so unreal, and the wind
that fills the empty space between us
would it bring you to me, and me to you
on a paper boat from an "i love you" note
or would it at least remind you
of a moonlight-lit sea of love
"pain"
The pain
That cuts through
My bleeding vein
Leading me
Through blood-stained doors
Into a world
Of insane sanity
"reality bites"
so there it goes little bitter bite
out of the blues, patches of pale white
casting shaddows in grey
figures made of clay
a stranger's play
what's left to say?
a knock on the door,
or a knock-out on the floor?
scares your f*cking brain out
as it comes back for more
oh won't you love to shout it all out
twisted broken words that won't come aloud
shallow dirts above deep rooted meanings
that send you on your knees crawling
you long for rain now there's only pain
of a certain kind, who wants to categorise?
traces of blues, reds, greens, yellows
a fatal mixture, colours of sorrows
clouds spining, head's dizzy
from an overdose of reality
but don't let it fade, my friends
'coz illusions reign where perception ends
"what she says"
she says it's all because of me
that the autumn leaves fall
rushing downstream through life's busy waterfall
no time for wondering
just what has been missing
she says it's all because of them
people are strange these days
never a thought for where they might be heading
never a thought for what they say
what they write on the deserted sign-post on the highway
she says it's all because of it
the ego of a broken-hearted
that so much ache and pain are wasted
in trying to mend what can't be ment
on the sandy desert land where love is only a luxury scent
she says it's all because of me
that wild flowers blossom in spring
purple and grean appear from the dark and grey, and without knowing
breath life from the ashes of death
and for what she says, yeah, it must be all because of me
"search"
i kept on searching
every day
kept on looking
every minute
kept on scanning
every second
for a familiar face
a familiar sight
a familiar voice
a familiar scent
a familiar signal
all that was left
all seem stronger yet
every day
every minute
every second
all seem to defy
the laws of time
as it passes us by
"the singer"
A silly girl's song
Her heart was broken
Her words never spoken
And she sang
To the void of my empty soul
"invisible empty space"
flying through the invisible empty space
little white wings face cautious winds
with each wing flap, she's wondering
"why can't we see the empty space?"
her feathers float from above thin air
afraid of height, but nobody cares
for nobody dares to fill in their parts,
the invisible empty space in their hearts
"sunset"
gently you fell through me quietly
like the evening sun fell through the sea
submerged in me
then leaving me borderlessly void but whole, seaching
all alone
for you
beneath the lonely sea
gently you fell through me quietly
like the evening sun fell through the sea
engulfed in me
then leaving me breathlessly slow in waiting
to breath again
would you
come again tomorrow?
"tear drop"
the last tear drop falling through the window
leaving my unrecognisably burnt-to-the-ground soul
follows covering trails of salts to my open wounds
it takes a look but leaves all too soon
shattering as it falls to the ground
into millions of pieces, lost and found
that nobody bothers to seek or to find
come back tear drop, don't leave these drained eyes
"tears"
tears
flow
don't stop
overflow
don't hide
show
don't dry
red eyes
sleep well
tonight
"The arithmetics of Truthfullness"
Everyone thinks it's true
One and one is two
Two halves make a whole
As clear as the writings on the wall
The working of arithmetics
Has its own set of laws
But you found their flaw
'Cause two of your half-truths won't make me whole
"you"
deep in my heart, in my soul
for all the moments never told
all the screams never heard, tears never fell
wounds never bled, rage never showed
you drew blazing smoke without fire
your smile lit my burning cold desire
your hands waved ocean from sand
you cried rain on my desert land